I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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