nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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