you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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