Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
