Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
