my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Pappa wants mamma naked
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
