Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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