are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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