girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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