She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize