So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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