before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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