I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
