Can Purell be used as lube?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
