My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
