She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
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Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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