i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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