Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
