now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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