i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
