i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
