Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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