he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How does it feel to date your dad?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
