im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
