at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
