Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
