I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
