I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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