This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
