Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
