How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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