***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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