he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
