The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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