i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
