why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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