Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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