whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
