woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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