That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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