my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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