remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
