How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sober January is a disaster.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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