her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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