plz talk dirty to me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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