Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
