She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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