I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
