Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
