Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
