the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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