I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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