So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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