I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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