When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize