I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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