I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
