that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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