Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize