Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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