I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize